Years ago, because I didn’t want to go on medication, I went to a quack doctor…well he wasn’t a quack exactly but he was a liar which makes him a quack-by-proxy… He said he was a “biochemist” and that he was putting me on a diet for my bodies needs alone. Lots of weird blood work was done and I was given a diet that would manage my mood. A great side effect was weight effects. I maintained a normal weight (didn’t go up or down like always) I had to take a very expensive crap load of vitamins and amino acids every day.

Turns out this dude? He’s a fuckin’ CHIROPRACTOR, not a “biochemist”. That still cracks me up. What an asshole, BUT, it worked. He did know what he was talking about, he just mislabeled it and made it his own.

So anyways, I’m surfing around the net yesterday looking up low carb and crap like that (like why isn’t it working etc) because I’m freaking obsessive. I run across talk about Glycemic Index and Glycemic Load when I started thinking “Wait, this sounds so familiar. Why is this so naggingly familiar?” Suddenly it hits me like a stone: Dr. Quackman.

He had explained to me that my hormonal balance was way off and went on to describe my other issues..similar to endocrine symptoms (if I find out he knew I had Cushings or something similar I will wreck him). He mailed me my diet and a list of thet supplements I needed to order and from what company.

I did, it was so expensive (fifteen years ago it was running me on average 270.00 monthly for the supplements) and when I got pregnant with Lizz the doctors urged me to come off the diet as I wasn’t gaining weight. I then blew up like a balloon.

Back to last night:

http://www.gahanwilson.com/

So I’m looking at these index charts—and then I’m looking at a few low glycemic diets acceptable food lists and I suddenly realize—he simply put me on a generic low glycemic diet. This wasn’t rocket science, and it certainly wasn’t some brainstorm of his…but it had worked. My mood leveled out my mysterious pain (which we later found was the tumors in my kidneys and ovarian cysts) eased, though my migraines increased. I began to eat some carbs when I started getting a tiny bit boney and couldn’t stand the headaches anymore.

Go with me here, and I know it’s complicated to follow but I will do my best not to sounds like a total jerk off:

Low Glycemic diets lower your blood sugar, and or can keep it level. The whole points of the lowering your blood sugar has to do with insulin and it’s role in our biochemistry.

Insulin’s job is to take blood sugar and store it as fat (ready energy for cells). It removes the blood sugar so it doesn’t damage your body by becoming too high. Glycemia is about your blood sugar (hypoglycemia, hyperglycemia, etc). The more sugar in the system, normally, the more insulin is released storing it. Eventually, metabolic syndrome (insulin resistance) sets in and your insulin is no longer abundant enough to keep your blood sugar under control and it rises. Eventually diabetes blooms.

Low Glycemic, or Slow Glycemic foods make a lower insulin dump reaction as your blood sugar isn’t spiking abnormally. OK so, as a rule of thumb, low glycemic foods are low carbohydrate food, but this is not a definitive or hard and fast rule. The difference is in how fast or slow they raise the bloods sugar. This is called glycemic load (GL).

But not all carbohydrates are created equal. For instance, low-fat yogurt has a net carb of 47 grams per serving, a GI of 33 and a GL count of 16. Now, mac and cheese (one serving) also has 47 grams net carb , a GI of 64 (Holy Blood Sugar Spike, Batman!) with a GL number of 30!

There is no “count” of how much your Glycemic Index (GI)  or GL numbers should add up to in a day. For someone like me who needs clear cut rules, that was tough for me to wrap my brain around and I got stuck for an hour. Finally it hit me, that keeping my carbs under a certain amout AND choosing low GL foods may be my answer to many issues

Now, I am not putting any bets on this or hoping too much that I will lose weight. However, if I can feel physically better, that will help immensely in my life.

My new goal is to use the low carbohydrate acceptable foods from Atkins Phase Two list, pick the lowest GL choices while staying around 50 net carbs a day with no higher than 70 accumulated GL count. I wil also stay away from the food families I am allergic to until we add in and see which ones don’t cause a reaction from my body. We will adjust according to how I feel and what happens in a week or two.

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It’s going to be tough at first, and not because of the foods. but finding food counts, adding them up for the home made food I make, dividing it by serving is tedious. However, what do I have to lose? Nothing.

I also found a terrific, remarkable site: Nutrition Data at Self.com. It has every damned nutritional fact and so friggin’ many foods. USE THEM!

So here, after much ado, is my most recent:

 

The State of My Union

• Mood: Moments of hopefulness
• Whats my body doing?: Being a freak with kidney pain, low grade fever and swollen glands. Tylenol hooked me right up.
• Whats on my mind?: Nothing that stays around too long. Thanksgiving with my sisters and Mother.
• Band Restriction: Really Good
• Eating: Too sporadic
• Water: 3 of 6
• Net Carbs: 51.6 net grams
• Glycemic Load Totals: 34.0
• Exercise: Walking 2 miles

So, look, I made two pumpkin pies, Lizz made two cakes and I have a spinach casserole to do in the morning. We arent eating til about four pm so I have time. I kinda’ picked the dumbest day of the year to change diets…

I’m wishing each and every one of you and incredible day full of blessings, laughter and true gratitude.