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He was wearing a bow tie, which was kinda’ kick-ass. When I shook his hand it was cool with long fingers and smooth tips. I liked him immediately because he was a tall man but exuded the gentleness of a kind person, refined yet down to earth. I sat back down on the examining table.

“Let’s head into my office and talk where it’s much more comfortable.” he said as he began to turn and hold the door open for me. Slowly sliding and climbing down, I was a little apprehensive.

“Fuck me. This doesn’t bode well.” crossed my mind but I simply smiled back at him.

We settled into his office and this man, my new endocrinologist, began looking over my paperwork while making small talk. He was smooth, measured his words and non-aggressive. He was going to turn me away. He was going to say “Most of what I see is common for people and not to be worried about…lose weight, take your medicines and stick in therapy“. With a sinking heart, I planted a small smile on my face as planned for two days as it has happened at so many other offices. Clarifying some health history for a few minutes, he leaned back and had a thin stack of papers in my brand new file. As he spoke I realized, my new allergist-immunologist had faxed him every test result from October. What a terrific and totally out-of-the-box thing to do.

We began to talk:

“Have you always had weight trouble?”

“When were you in Heart Failure?” *flips through the papers*

“It’s very unusual for a tumor to grow on an adrenal gland from Tuberous Sclerosis.”

“When were you diagnosed as having Bipolar?”

“Any miscarried pregnancies?”

“What are your periods like and have they changed?”

“What are the hives like?”

_{**These are not exact quotes, as the conversation is blurry but I remember the gist of it.}

As the discussion turned to what diseases or disorders could cause certain symptoms, I began to slowly realize that he believed me. Treating each symptoms as if it were common place and not imagined, we moved from one topic to another. It became a blur when he said autoimmune and began to describe the process. The only word I could clearly understand was “Hashimoto’s” and “Exogenous Cushing’s”.

I took in a sharp breath.

“This could cause my hives? We could have an answer to my hives?” I heard myself ask quietly. Feeling my eyes begin to fill, pinching my arm made them stop.

He cautioned that it doesn’t mean they will stop, but we could control them when they do occur. Predisone may still be needed on occasion.

“Just the thought that we could name them, to have a reason why they happen…“As he explained what testing I was to do and how to do it, my head was spinning. I interrupted, I needed to write it all down or I would forget the instructions. He was already typing and responded casually with “I’m doing that for your right now. So you have the C.R.S. or C.R.A.F.T. too?” Laughing, I let him know it had hit me hard this year and confided that I even had times I’ve had to pull over because traffic was so confusing, that the road signs made no sense, or didn’t know where I was even on familiar roads. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and asked when this had begun or that I noticed it.

Moving to his examining room I was slightly giddy over what was happening and hopped up easily on the examination table. Palpitating my thyroid he had me swallow water which I promptly choked on. “This started happening about a year and a half ago. I also was able to swallow pills with no problem, now I have to break them up small.”

“Mm hmm” He hummed.

This man has the best poker face I have ever run across. Pleasant, charming, solicitous and enigmatic…I’m glad he’s on our side and not a crook of some kind. We’d all be screwed.

We made my next appointment and he literally waved, calling out “Good bye Miss La Fountain, have a great holiday!”

Click here to read Part 2